Aw, tonight was an Ice Cream Sunday! I could have licked that audience they were that sweet! Which is absolutely in no way a reference to the heavy lesbian presence. (Heavy as in lots not in size! ) It was Scotland vs America last night and as much as Scotland had balls, America was winning culturally. The lesbian Americans or 'Lemericans' as I call them, met at The Carnegie Hall in New York when they were Oratorio Players, which I quickly surmised was a posh expression for 'being in a choir'! One was from NY and one was from Aylesbury and these girls were hot! ( But then it was quite dark) Aylesbury girl got up and we duetted on an improvised song which was fab but alas 'America ain't got Talent'! Just jesting, she was great. 

Gordon in the front row was from East Kilbride had a baldy head and tattoos and looked like me in the future! He had the most fabulously low, slurring but indecipherable accent and had the look of someone who drove lorries. When I asked him what he did for a living he said he drove lorries! I tell you, I'm like that Sally Morgan-I reckon I've got the gift! He was with his sweet, if a little cigarette-fueled voiced, wife who said she knew my Auntie so you can imagine how quickly I stopped the line of questioning there! 

The opposite side had a beautiful Irish girl and a beautiful Aussie girl and a man who when I asked him to talk me through a day in his life as a butcher was so painfully shy that he became the first person I actually couldn't get to speak! God love him, but it worked out well as we then moved on to Stuart who worked for Pizza Hut who talked us through what seemed like the funniest most ridiculous process of moving dough from freezer to fridge then fridge to freezer as I mimed the whole thing barely surviving under the weight of carrying the dough! 

We also asked Stuart to be our 'private dancer, dancer for money' at the end but then suddenly noticed his crutches! And as much fun as a hopping Madonna might have been, Gordon from EK came up trumps and obliged us with the butchest 'Guy Gone Wild' so far! What a lovely audience to end the weekend with. Cheers guys x